As our lives become less restricted with lockdown easing, lots of people are potentially getting busier. But what
will that mean for the good habits we’ve created in the past year – for those proper chats we’ve been having? We spoke to
behavioural psychologist, Jo Hemmings who’s shared some top tips on how we can keep those meaningful connections alive and make sure we’re
making time for people we can’t yet see in real life.
Our chats with friends and family – whether by text or phone – have kept many of us going during lockdown,
combatting our sense of loneliness or isolation. Once we get out and about more, and begin meeting in person, it can be easy to
lose touch with those very people who mattered so much to us on a one-on-one basis during the last year. To avoid this
pitfall, make a mental note to maintain some of those proper chats. It’s an excellent psychological bridging gap between full
lockdown and complete freedom.
If you have felt comforted, reassured and less lonely during lockdown because of those chats, then it’s a
certainty that your friends and family – even those valued work colleagues you haven’t seen for ages - will have felt the same way.
Not everybody can get out as much as others, and some will simply find it more difficult to adjust to our renewed freedoms.
People often don’t want to admit that they have some degree of FOGO (Fear of Going Out), so make sure you don’t neglect those
who may not be able to embrace their new freedoms in the same way that you can.
Sharing on social media or messaging groups has often been seen as ‘humble bragging’ in the past – showing off
about what we have done and where we have been. Without those ‘opportunities’, we can reclaim the word ‘share’ in its purest
sense. Sharing advice and support, kindness and empathy can all be done by having a chat.
Becoming an effective listener is as important as talking. Hearing and understanding what a friend or family
member is saying, showing interest in their concerns and providing feedback and asking open ended questions – but without
judgement or your opinion, unless you are asked specifically to do so - can make someone feel really valued and much less
isolated.
Much of our sense of loneliness and isolation over the last year has come from anxiety. We’ve found these high
levels of the hormones cortisol and adrenalin hard to self-regulate due to uncertainty and a lack of control over what is
happening in the outside world. Ringing up a friend or family member for a spontaneous chat, can often not just feel good for
them, but also for you by showing an act of kindness. And that conversation will release a mood boosting hormone known as dopamine,
which will make you both feel better. So, reaching out via a chat – whether we’re living under social restrictions or not – is a
win/win situation for everyone.
You can find out more about our Have a Proper Chat campaign below.
